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Here’s another bit of local colour from the Czech trip (for more of which see below). Eva’s uncle Fanda told us he’d had to attend the funeral of an old friend who had committed suicide. He told us this story with Eva translating…….

“It was very sad. He was a really great bloke. He used to go drinking with us every week and he was always the life of the party. Always laughing and joking. He was one of the funniest men I knew. But every few months he would become terribly depressed. It was not the first occasion on which he had tried to kill himself. This time he was determined to succeed. He got himself really drunk and went out into the cold night to die of hypothermia in the forest. By the time they found him his body temperature was only 17°C. They took him to the hospital where they did everything they could to warm him up again.”

“But failed, obviously” said Eva.

“No, they were successful. He recovered completely.” Then uncle Fanda sat back as if the story was finished. I was confused and asked Eva if I’d misunderstood. I thought uncle Fanda had just been to his friend’s funeral. Eva looked a bit flustered. She was worried she’d mistranslated something and asked her uncle how, if he had recovered, had his friend come to be dead. He became animated again.

“Oh, as soon as he was warmed up again he got out of bed and jumped straight out of the third floor window of the hospital.”
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The hospital chaplain, behind a bed curtain, administering the eucharist to a demented old lady: "No, it’s not real blood."

Eva, upon hearing that our Home Secretary had been forced to resign after it was discovered he had fast-tracked a visa application for his illegitimate son’s nanny: "It is surprising that you have to obey the rules even if you are the make-ruler."

At various times, asked by several visiting Czech relations after having been around London for the first time: "Why are there so many foreigners here?"

September 2017

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