22/5/05

babies

22/5/05 17:36
benicek: (Default)
One of my earlier posts has produced queries from people as to whether I desire to have children of my own. My gut reaction is…..

I don’t want to reproduce! I don’t want to reproduce all my own mental problems in another person. It wouldn’t be very generous. It wouldn’t be much of a gift: “There you go, new little human being. Here’s your new brain. Look after it. Half of its DNA came from me, and half from your mother. Your mother’s half possibly contains elements of her father’s lifelong, violent, psychotic illness. But don’t worry about that. If you take after me it’ll only be borderline manic-depression. You’ll probably be too nervous and angry to ever be able to drive a car. You will suffer constant corrosive anxiety about money and the risk of unemployment, road death, burglary or violent crime. If you drink you’ll probably become an alcoholic. You’ll never be able to concentrate hard enough to excel at academia and you’ll be so repelled by paperwork and incapable of maths that you’ll never be able to hold down responsible employment or even fake an interest in it, no matter how hard you try. Most likely you’ll reach your mid 30’s without ever having had a proper job of any description. The insecurity will unhinge you constantly. Oh, and another thing…You’ll be able to write well enough to impress the less talented but, I’m afraid, will never be able to do anything other than produce long letters to your friends and author essays that impress mediocre university lecturers.”

Lucky kid.
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