30/6/05

benicek: (Default)
I've always found those e-mail scams that come out of Africa as amusing as they are irritating to read. I think they deserve some sort of reply. So, I've written this........

Dear Sir,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ian Featherstone-Levin-Buckland and I am the last surviving grand-nephew of the late famed Prime Minister and Big Man of England, Lord Winston Churchill. It is my fervent wish, and may God damn my eyes if it is otherwise, that you entertain this most exciting proposal. My late father, Winston Featherstone-Levin-Buckland, was the managing director of The Bank of England during the sorely-missed regime of Mrs Margaret Thatcher, since deposed by the savage dictatorship of the Labourite party. At this time my father deposited a certain quantity of dental-grade NAZI GOLD in a bank vault in Switzerland, where I currently reside under political asylum with my half-brother Nigel Featherstone-Lucan. Now, under the arrogant leadership of Anthony Blair, the Labourites have again profaned the name of our Lady Thatcher by revoking the passports of all so-called ‘wanted embezzlers’, freezing our bank accounts and seizing our hard-earned assets. It is for this reason that I am contacting you. All you need do is furnish me with your bank particulars, viz. your account name, number, address, telephone and fax numbers, in order to assist me in transferring the value of this bullion into your private bank account. The amount in question is £15 million English pounds sterling. Naturally you will be compensated with a 10% handling fee. There is no need for me to tell you, my trusted friend, that we are speaking of a great deal of bananas here. Cross my heart and hope to die if I am pulling your leg. Indeed, my esteemed grandfather even furnished me with photocopies of certificates which verify the deposit of the bullion at the branch of the English Bank in Frankfurt, Switzerland. You see, you are the only man in the world that I trust enough to expose myself to. If you would only reach out and grasp this opportunity firmly you would make me very satisfied. I place the future of my family in your hands. Please contact me the instant you receive this message. Really it is urgent; that is why I offered you 10% of the total £15 million. God bless.

P.S. Try and negotiate for us some profitable blue chip investment opportunities which are risk free and I can put this money into when it is transferred to your account. Personally I am interested in estate management and the hotel business. Please advise me. I pray God that you will not abandon me and my poor brother Nigel.

P.P.S. My late father was the second-cousin of the big man of Windsor village, the home of Her Majesty the Queen. I am his only son and next of kin. On his death bed he told me that I would need the foreign assistance of a foreigner with a legitimate bank account abroad who will also stand as co-beneficiary and partner abroad.

September 2017

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